January 28, 2006
Paperback Of The Week
The exceptionally bad cover art mini-series continues.
Posted by hissycat at 01:18 PM | Comments (7237)
January 27, 2006
Sue-sy Sue
So these ladies are suing James Frey for "lost time" spent reading his novel. Great idea, gals! Come to think of it, there's some suing I've been meaning to get around to myself. First, I'm going to sue the pants off of PT Anderson for the last hour minutes of Magnolia. Then I'm going to sue, like, all of TV. And then I'm going to sue-- Oh, I know!-- ME -- for this whole freaking blog.
Posted by hissycat at 08:09 PM | Comments (0)
January 26, 2006
I'm Working (!)
You read this.
I'll be collecting your paragraphs on Monday.
(Yesterday a middle-schooler mistook me for her teacher-- or, possibly, her classmate. I was wearing a pink sweatshirt with cats on it and my hair was in a ponytail. You tell me.)
Posted by hissycat at 10:37 AM | Comments (11)
January 25, 2006
Public Service Announcement
My throat was aching this morning. I was a-coughing like a person who coughs a lot. A whole lot!
While selecting tea at the cafe, this "Throat Comfort" tea caught my eye, for my throat needs comforting, but my eye is ok because that was just an expession, the tea did not really catch my eye. Tea does not even have hands!
However!
I must warn you!
"Throat Comfort" Tea tastes like A MONKEY'S ASS, which, let me tell you, is no comfort at all. Although I like monkeys and now that I mention it I would like a helper monkey who could do chores for me, perhaps even make me cups of tea-- not, however, ass tea; my monkey would have to be trained to make Earl Grey-- I do not like their asses infused in my drink.
That's all.
Continue on with your day.
Posted by hissycat at 02:55 PM | Comments (4)
January 22, 2006
Paperback Of The Week
Now that's quality cover art if I ever saw it.
Posted by hissycat at 12:29 PM | Comments (17)
January 20, 2006
Stagnation
The winter doldrums or something, except that I feel perfectly fine. Better than fine, in fact, I feel pretty good, nevertheless I'm not getting a damn thing done. The blog entries, you see, are pitifully thin, and it's not cause I have so much else to show for it: I've three books I'm carrying around in my handbag, already read and waiting to be reviewed; the mock-ups for the lit mag website haven't been looked at in ever and that project is stalling; I thought I had a job but then it turned out I didn't and the part time work I'm doing from home is slow slow slooow. I think it's time to start setting an alarm clock. I'm going to try to cut out napping (maybe). Step it up.
Posted by hissycat at 05:56 PM | Comments (192)
January 16, 2006
Paperback Of The Week
Posted by hissycat at 12:42 PM | Comments (17)
January 12, 2006
Am I The Only One
I've never actually bothered to read any of the JT Leroy books. I'm not easily impressed by macho drug books as a lot, and really, if you've read one teenage drug addict, hustler and truckstop prostitute's memoir haven't you read them all?
But now that I know there is no memoir involved in these novels, I'm suddenly a lot more inclined to read them.
Frey's books still sound like shit, though.
Posted by hissycat at 06:11 PM | Comments (12)
January 11, 2006
A Lone Snark Snarking Out In The Wilderness
Speaking of Frey (ok, I wasn't, but I know you probably were), this is the funniest thing I've ever read. I know, book reviews that are "mean" and "snarky" are not "in style" these days, but now that Frey's a proven liar and a fallen man it is officially a-ok to enjoy Dolan's hilariously withering review-- it is, in fact, the "cool" thing to do, I promise! (via Maud Newton)
Speaking of snark, I just noticed that the Believer dropped the Snarkwatch portion of their website. Well golly, you mean there's no more nice police keeping overly critical voices and positions in check? Uh-oh! Sounds like trouble to me.
Posted by hissycat at 05:46 PM | Comments (8195)
January 09, 2006
Never Trust A Writer
They're all a bunch of no good liars.
Posted by hissycat at 03:44 PM | Comments (12)
January 08, 2006
More Like JT SHEroy
The rumors appear to have been true. JT Leroy has been outed pretty conclusively-- in the New York Times, no less-- as an invention of Laura Albert, Leroy's guardian and long-time lead suspect. JT Leroy's stand-in is no hired actor, though! It seems JT Leroy has been played by Ms. Albert's partner's sister, Savannah Knoop. Way to go, guys!
Just this morning I was feeling blue, flipping through Steve's copy of McSweeney's No. 18 and feeling like I have no place in the world. See, as more and more names of people I know, names of people I went to school with, took classes with, am the same age as start to pop up on mastheads, it just becomes clearer to me how much I'm not a participant in the world I thought I wanted to be a part of. I realize the whole McSweeney's/ Believer/ n + 1 is very much where any young person interested in writing wants to be, but, I just don't. I want to, because I want to be a participant in a world of writers, but there is something so personalityish about those places that I just can't stomach. They all seem a little too cool for me. They seem cliquish-- maybe that's it; they just trigger some adolescent self-preservation mechanism that makes me averse to the idea of applying for an internship or submitting a story, even though that's ultimately self-defeating.
Ok, I do realize there isn't any direct connection between any of this and the JT Leroy hoax and I'm absolutly rambling for no other reason than to put off writing cover letters for job applications, but, I'm just saying, all the cool people in the cool club and all the celebrities who totally jumped on the JT Leroy bandwagon because he was so cool, don't you all feel like asses! I mean, not for liking his/ her books. That's neither here nor there. But people who got all wrapped up in the personna-- ha, ha! Trendy suckers!
Also, this is kind of funny.
Posted by hissycat at 04:51 PM | Comments (14)
Paperback Of The Week
That is the saddest gym I have ever seen. Just one small pair of weights in an otherwise bare room. Look, the blonde's going to have to use saddle shoes as weights. So sad!
Now let's everyone say, 'Thank you Title IV!'
Posted by hissycat at 03:05 PM | Comments (8)
Dave and David
1. David Foster Wallace would like you to Consider The Lobster. Well, actually, he'd like to consider it. A lot. Every aspect of it. On and on. It's fascinating, really. And he'd be much obliged if you'd sit there and listen.
Trevor Corson, on the other hand, wants to show you How To Kill A Lobster (With Pictures!) Mr. Corson, you can come to my next party!
2. Mc Sweeney's has a new DVD quarterly. Yip-dee-fucking-doo.
Posted by hissycat at 02:40 PM | Comments (18)
Phone Call With Mom
Me: I'm feeling sort of good about applying for the job.
Mom: What? Why? You still don't have a job. There's nothing to be excited about yet.
Me: I know, obviously, I am aware that I do not have a job. I'm just telling you about a job I applied for, ok? You're the one who's always bitching that I never tell you anything. You are always so doubtful about everything I say.
Mom: Oh, I'd be very surprised if that were the case.
Posted by hissycat at 12:57 PM | Comments (6)
January 04, 2006
I Was Having Karaoke Parties Before The Sunday Style Article, So There
Oh my god, that's exactly what my karaoke party was like!
p.s. party peoples-- would anyone with pictures please, please send me some? I didn't get a chance to take any, and I'm pretty sad about it.
Posted by hissycat at 06:11 PM | Comments (504)
My Experimental Year: Over Before It Began
Gerty the cat has been acting like a lunatic lately, yowling like a banshee at all hours of the night and biting at her fur with a wet smacking sound that makes it seems like she's going to gnaw her hide right off. My theory is that the fleas are driving her insane. The flea problem was a lot better when we were in New York (yes, the cat flew with me to New York), but since we've been back in SF, she's been itching with a vengence.
My point is that as I was walking South down Valencia this morning anyway to stop in at the vet to make an appointment for Gerty, I decided to mix things up a bit. No Katz's/ La Onda/ Petra for me, no sir! Dammit, this is a new year! I will go to new cafes! In new parts of the mission! And order organic sandwiches with new names!
I am, in fact, at a cafe on Valencia I have never before been to right now as I type these very words. I am sitting opposite gigantic pastels of voluptuos female nudes and the music playing is distinctly "folky." I think I have learned my lesson: no more "experimenting" for me! I just heard the lyric "I am an all-powerful Amazon"! In fact I'm pretty sure I'm not even leaving my house tomorrow. It's all a bit much.
Posted by hissycat at 02:34 PM | Comments (4)
January 03, 2006
Here's To Something Better In 2006
Its beginnings were auspicious enough: with all our dependable party-throwers flung across the globe to various exotic locales (Slovakia. . . Mexico. . . India. . . Long Beach), Onion Slayer and I decided to throw a party ourselves. We rented a karaoke machine. It was grand.
I'm still recovering, two days later. It wasn't just that the party that wore me out; I'm also exhausted from the stress of being of being a hostess. I had to make plans from New York! For a party in San Francisco! I rented a freaking Karaoke machine! A Karaoke machine! In general, I don't love to host a party for the same reason I don't trust parties on boats: I like to know that if the party fails to amuse me I can dash outside and hail a cab. I like to know that I am able to bolt, should the need arise, and it is usually frowned upon when the hostess bolts from her own party, but, hey, it was New Year's! 2005 was kind of a really, really shitty fucking year for me, as far as these things go. I should have a New Year's party. 2006, please please please oh godless unfeeling universe, has to be something better.
Also, I'd like to share my revised opinoin on Karaoke machines. The best Karaoke experience, in my opinion, is had in those private Karaoke rooms with a group of friends all of whom are discriminiating in their musical tastes and knowledgable about which songs lend themselves to a Karaoke good time. The problem with the non-small-private-room machine, as I see it, is only one person or group can sing at a time; this makes it necessary for everyone else present to watch and listen to those Karaokeing. This is not equally enjoyable for everyone in the room. Karaoke is always more fun for the person singing, for that person cannot hear themselves. Everyone else, in addition to having to listen to some asshole sing, really is only there because they want to be singing themselves! The genius of private room Karaoke is everyone is screaming alond at once, so 1) no one ever has to wait their turn to sing; everyone is always singing all the time! 2) you never hear yourself or anyone else sing because you are always shouting so everyone seems to sound just terrific! you're a star! If only someone could invent a machine that would do the same thing with conversation! Every party would be a hit! No one would ever be bored!
Posted by hissycat at 05:49 PM | Comments (16)