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December 05, 2005

Good News

I have a new diagnoses: I'm bipolar! Type two!

I'm not actually being as facetious as I seem. New diagnosis means new medication, and since what I'm on now clearly isn't doing the trick, I'm anxious to try something new. I'm still in insurance limbo and can't afford to see a doctor so for now my father is writing my prescription. It's not ideal being treated by a family member, but he's a good psychaitrist, and this is how it'll have to be for the moment. I've been too depressed/ anxious/ overwhelmed to seek out a new doctor in any case. People ask me why I don't at least go see my old doctor but they don't understand. "I don't have a car," I say. "Take the train." The train? That is so complicated, it would never work. I'd have to look up schedules, and wake up at a certain time to leave, and go to the station, and buy a ticket and find a seat among all the people, then wait for my stop to come up. I can't fit even get my brain to think through all that. Doing it? Totally impossible.

When I feel better, when the new meds have kicked in, then I can deal with getting a new doctor, here in the city.

Wait, wait-- I'm almost at the best part. Topamax, which is what I'm taking starting tonight, has weight loss as a side effect. Just the thought cheers me up. Loss of appetite, here I come!

Posted by hissycat at December 5, 2005 09:45 PM

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