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November 01, 2005
Every Woman's Battle
On a usual Sunday morning on which I wake before noon (which, granted, is already not a usual Sunday morning), I amble on over across the street to Katz's for my lox bagel and New York Times (you can take the girl out of New York, but you can't take New York out of the girl, etc.), which comes as a welcome relief after a long week of getting up and ambling on over across the street to Katz's for my whole-wheat bagel with humus, cucumber and sprouts and New York Times. If Katz's is sold out of the Times, I shrug and return to bed crosswordless but unharmed. The thought of walking to the Castro before the caffiene from my third cup of joe has had time to fully absorb into my blood stream is not what I usually find an appealing notion. Yet, as if pulled along by some unearthly foresight appdo not normally trek out to the Castro in search of the elusive Sunday paper, yet yesterday, as if drawn by some vague foreknowledge, that is exactly what I did.
My premonition was fulfilled. The entire trek was made worthwhile by the pleasure of this littegem of an article.
In case you were distracted by the Maureen Dowd essay on feminism and sexual mores in the Magazine Section or the Iraq war themed Book Review and did not get a chance to fully savor this article, allow me to fill you in.
New Life Ministries, "an evangelical radio ministry," has taken it upon themselves to ship off packages of books "intended to promote Bible-based abstinence from pornography, adultery, nonmarital sex and masturbation" to soldiers in Iraq.
Interestingly enough, there are two different sets of books, one for the boys and one for the girls. For the boys, there is the blue covered Every Man's Battle; Every Woman's Battle comes in pink. Every Day For Every Man is colred in earthy shades of reddish brown and bluish green; Every Woman, Every Day is colored with the turquise and yellow pallette of drugstore eyeshadow. And the girly counterpart to Every Man's Bible (which has on its cover a rugged, South Western landscape) is the Life Recovery Bible, its cover taken up with curly, pastel calligraphy.
Though the article contained no discussion of the differences between the two sets of books, I was struck by the graphic and little summaries of each book included in the inset, which could be a handout for a Language and Gender 101 class.
In "His Battle Kit" the rhetoric emphasizes sexual purity as a battle: "Your malesness looms as your own worst enemy. You got into this mess by being male; you'll get out by being a man."; "It's time to fight. And you realize that your battle for sexual purity will cost you something. It requires sacrifice,, intensity and honor."; "Is it O.K. to have lunch with a female coworker? What about working together on a project past quitting time? Be honest as you evaluate what is going on in your mind and heart. If temptation lurks around the corner. . . run!"
The books in "Her Battle Kit" use the soft, self-hating language of psychology, urging women to reflect and listen to their feelings: "Society has twisted our minds into thinking that if we are drawn to someone, we must want to have sex with them"; "Masturbation is not healthy because it can train a person to 'fly solo,' to operate independently of anyone else"; "'Please love me!' Isn't this the whispered cry of our heart? We may not want to admit it for fear of rejection, but we are all hungry for love."
The man books are about action and practical advice. The woman books are about health and personal relationships. The appeal to abstain from masturbating is part of a noble "battle for sexual purity" that proves masculine and individual virtues like "sacrifice, intensity and honor." Women, on the other hand, are harmed by masturbation. It is not that women need to be strong and fight for sexual purity; to the contrary, women need to be protected and sheilded from the inherent destructiveness and unhealthiness of female independence.
Posted by hissycat at November 1, 2005 02:57 PM
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Comments
Aye, it's true, once I started masturbating I abandoned all need for human contact. I also went blind and grew hair on the tip of my index finger.
Posted by: Karin at November 2, 2005 09:07 AM