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October 06, 2005
Jizz For Jesus
Sydnee, the NOHO spokesslut
When I first found out about xxxchurch.com (the #1 Christian porn site) (via brainspace) I thought it had to have something to do with these.
Then, at theslovak's urging, I checked out Porn Sunday, and thought my poor, dear Zuzka had just been taken in. It had to be a joke. Surely they were pulling one over her. I mean, just look at that fem-porn-happy webdesign. I mean, really.
But, with further poking, I have come to the conclusion, that triple-x church is, in fact, entirely serious. Channel 7 News ran a spot about them. Even The Christian Science Monitor has written about them.
My favorite part about triple-x church, after the derivative Save The Kittens Campaign, would have to be the NoHo Zone where Sydnee, the deranged spokesbarbie, invites girls to take the NoHo Pledge:
I, state your name, promise to the best of my ability not to dress, buy clothes or act like a Ho. Clothes I should try to avoid buying or wearing: tight pants that are cut so low that when I bend over you can see my g-string or butt crack, tight half shirts that show my six or not-so-six pack, tight shirts that are low cut to show my cleavage or short shorts that you can see my butt cheeks in.I know that God desires me to glorify him in all things and I realize that by dressing like a Ho, I only desire to give glory to me, not God. I also know boys have a problem with sexual things and I know that by not dressing like a Ho, I can be a part of the solution, not the problem!
Well, I'd love to hang around and chat, but it's getting late, and the time has come for me to go "kill some kittens," as the kids are calling it these days.
Posted by hissycat at October 6, 2005 12:02 AM
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Comments
Okay, I'm a Ho. It's clear. But I never thought my buttcrack was too sexy. Oh, the pledge forgot one crucial part: "I promise to wear a hijab to cover my shiny hair and my luscious lips." Oops, they can't make us do that anymore because those "evil muslims" are doing it.
It sucks to be a woman in a world where God created all men completely stupid and unable to control their urges after simple visual stimulation. God wants women to be responsible and prevent them stupid men from getting into trouble. But don't forget, manage to still stay submissive.
Posted by: theslovak at October 5, 2005 10:29 PM
I never thought theslovak's buttcrack was particularly sexy either.
Posted by: CMK at October 5, 2005 10:56 PM
When you added Bill Bennett to my list of men with published works, I was not sure who he was. I vaguely connected him in my mind with politics and some sort of gambling scandal. I looked him up at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Bennett and figured out that apparently he once had a blind date with the late Janis Joplin. They would have produced beautiful children together.
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