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October 12, 2005
Insomnia
For the third night in the row I am unable to sleep. Last night I couldn't close my eyes until after six, and then, only after I'd polished off a tumbler glass of whiskey. Tonight I drank half a bottle of Kahlua Arvel left here, but it hasn't worked. I'm at Brett's place, and I kind of want to die. I drove here at four am because I had not heard from him all day and I felt sick and could not sleep and did not know what else to do. I still can't sleep, and I can't find any pills, and I left my copy of The Year Of Magical Thinking, which I am engrossed in, at home.
I didn't go to work yesterday because I knew if I tried driving I would crash the car. I don't see how I can not go into work today. I also don't see how I can. It is nearing six. I'm rocking myself by the window. I'm waiting for the bad things I know are going to happen.
Posted by hissycat at October 12, 2005 05:23 AM
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Comments
Hissy, I'm so sorry. I wish I could offer helpful advice, but I don't know... The only thing I find can get me through this sort of thing is NOT forcing myself to try to go to sleep. Can a friend come stay w/ you? Would going to work help you (familiar routines)? Could a friend drive you there/pick you up? Do you need a penpal? Sorry.
Posted by: ae at October 12, 2005 06:52 PM
To love somebody (something) as the devil loves holy water... Gawen
Posted by: Gawen at November 30, 2006 01:21 AM