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October 28, 2005

Imaginary Musicals I Never Want To See

While reading the arts section of the New York Times, I had the displeasure of coming across an ad for a musical called Infertility: The Musical That's Hard To Conceive!

I really, really dislike musical comedies that take the names of ailments or bodily functions: Orgasms, Menopause The Musical (which, by the way, does a Menopause The Musical Ovarian Cancer Tour), etc. Not that I've seen any, I just hate them in principle and for triggering awful, reflexivle pun-production in my brain.

Proposed awful names for human physiology-themed musicals that popped into my head, along with requisite tag line:

Conjunctivitis: The Catchiest Thing Around!

Massive Brain Hemmorrage: The Show That Once Started, Never Stops!
(alternately, The Show That Has Audiences Gushing!)

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: The Musical You'll Want To See Again and Again and Again and Again!

Syphallis: The Hilarious Comedy That's Burning Up 42nd Street!

Hemerrhoids: The Show That'll Keep You On The Edge Of Your Seat!

--and, perhaps my favorite--

Constipation: The Musical For People Who Don't Give A Crap!

Posted by hissycat at October 28, 2005 10:12 AM

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