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August 09, 2005

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A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
By James Joyce
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I'm a happy duck this morning.  Yesterday was a year since Iarrived, love-struck and starry-eyed, in Berlin.  Brett was waiting at the airport.  I saw him as I exited the customs area,in his red shirt with the snaps down the front, on the other, public side of the glass.  He had his hands behind his back and he bounced his weight from foot to foot.  His face seemed small in proportion to his expression.  A close-lipped grin was stretched across his ruddy face.

Brett says I was wearing the 'Upper Egypt' t-shirt I have, but I didn't remember that particularly.

I was so fidgety that day, like my skin had been shrunk tighter than usual and everything moving inside me was easily visible through the thin, taut surface.  I couldn't help spasming against it.  We held hands on the train and as we walked to a sushi restaurant in alittle gray square set off by a wall full arches.  I desperately wanted to speak charmingly, but all I could get out of me were embaressing, gassy little noises: "I'm tired," "I can't believe I'm here," "I did try to sleep on the plane," and a lot of gasping, spasmodic, not entirely appropriate laughter.  I wasn't just nervous, unable to form my thoughts out loud.  I was on an entirely different plane from nervous.  I was overwhelmed.  I wasn't having any thoughts at all.  Brett introduced me tomackeral, but the truth is I still don't like the oiliness or the taste.

But when we went to the grass by the water with ducks, lied down in thesun and drank the wine he had brought, everything-- everything-- became easier.

Last night we had the nicest, most delicious meal.  There was wine and flowers.  We ate duck, lamb, caponata, raw fish.  I hadport with dessert.  And I had the best night when we got home.

--------

Posted by hissycat at August 9, 2005 10:16 AM

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Comments

I don't think I was wearing a red shirt with snaps. I don't have a red shirt with snaps. I do have a red shirt, but no snaps, and in any case I remember either wearing a blue striped shirt with buttons or a pink short sleved shirt with a collar. One of the two. Not both.

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