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August 11, 2005
I Said WW, Not AA
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The theme of this week's meeting was Winning Outcomes, and when Iarrived (late) there was, written in the large, competent red andpurple purple characters of a second-grade teacher on the bigeasel-backed pad, "What will this cost?" and "Is it worth it?" Igot really excited because I assumed it referred to specific food itemsof a covetable nature and how to know whether said item truly is worthgoing over your points for. I was totally ready to particpatewith my own real life example of how, on Monday, I had a dinner thatcost me 25 points-- which took me not only well over my daily target of20 points but also completely off the chart with my weekly flex-Points,most of which, as is usual for a Monday, had already been drunk overthe weekend (and, ok-- that morning's breakfeast)-- and it was totallyworth it. I was feeling smug about losing 1.4 lbs IN SPITE OFCOMPLETELY EMBALMING MY INNARDS AND THEN HAVING A 25 POINT MEAL OFFRIED POLENTA, LAMB CHOPS, DONUT HOLES AND DUCK FAT.
Unfortunately, my interpretation of the questions "What will this costme?" and "Is it worth it?" was not the intended one, as I soon pickedup on. It seemed that the intended interpretation was 'what willlosing this weight cost me?' and 'is it worth the sacrifice?' Soeveryone was all talking about their personal reasons for coming toWeight Watchers and how costs like giving up a glass of wine in theevening and bigger portions and french fries, is so worth it that theydon't even miss it.
Damn. I even had anice story to tell about my enlightening experience with duckfat. About how it was worth it for me because it was aspecial dinner on a special occaision and even though I feeluncomfortable writing it down here, I probably would have told the WWladies that it was for an anniverseryish (so uncomfortable I can't evenwrite the real word) dinner with my boyfriend, but purely because forsome reason, stories about anniverseries always go over really well andare rewarded with fond, nostalgic smiles and nods of blessing andapproval.
See, I almost never say anything at WW meetings, and not because Idon't know the answers (you can not listen to anything that's going onand then randomly chirp "portions" and you'll have a 50% chance ofbeing showered by the leader with praise and encouragement and approvalfor sharing your good answer with the group). I never talkbecause whenever you way anything-- "water," for instance-- the leaderwill always ask you to share some personal anecdote about someexperience you had with water, and whether you were happy about thatexperience and what would you do differently if you found yourself inthe same situation again. The women there are, for the most part,just so nice and grandmotherly (not like mygrandmother, mind you, but that's besides the point), and I just feellike my stories are just too shameful for them to know. Like,when the meeting leader asks about "difficult situations" people findthem in, someone will say, "well I'm the mother of a two-year old[sometimes, on occaision, this person will have there baby there andthe baby, with a suspiciously good sense of comic timing, will emit aloug gurgly noise just as the mother says "adorable"], so I'm always onthe go, and I end up snacking a lot instead of sitting down formeals." Then the leader will ask, "How do you think you canhandle this situation in the future so that you don't do the same thingagain?" and then the woman will say something like, "well, I'm going toplan ahead more and keep more healthy snacks around the house, and cookmore stews and things that I can heat up again later in theweek." Then the leader will say, "By making better choices, youwill be able to move past bad habits," and everyone will clap.
Once, and I swear this is true, the meeting leader was leading adiscussion on "danger foods" and how to protect ourselves from theirsiren songs and keep temptation at bay. The leader was givingtips like, "put those corn chips on the highest shelf of your pantry,where it's hard for you to reach" (yeah, like that's really everstopped me before) and "arrange the items in your fridge so that thefirst things you see when you open the door are fruits and vegetables(um, that's actually a great idea, especially since water melting offthe glacial freezerburn up north has been making its way into myvegetable bin and rotting my fucking potatoes. I should totallyget on that.). This one grandma raises her hand, and says in avoice as mild and pleasant as a sunshower in June, "Well, I've alwayshad a weakness for chocolate, and my husband loves chocolate, and it'shard for me to say no to chocolate when I see it right there in frontof me."
"And how do you handle this situation?" asks the leader.
"Well, I couldn't ask my husband to give up chocolate, but he has hisown part of the house, a den I guess you'd call it, which we added tothe house so he would have a place to work on his model trains, andthat's his space, you know, I don't go in there. Well, after Itold my husband I was having trouble with his chocolate, he decided hewould keep his chocolate in his room, so that's what he does, and he eats it there, too, and I never have to see it and feel tempted."
"See," said the leader, " By tapping into her support system and making a compromise Marcia was able to make a change in her surroundings that helped her make a change in how she eats." Oh, and all the italics are where the leader will slow her speech so that people can participate by figuring out the rest of the phrase and chiming in.
My point is, I really have nothing to contribute after a story likethat, because the situation in my life that I'm thinking about, justlike I was instructed to, is so far away from babies and modeltrains. I couldn't take the guilt of telling a room full ofgrandmas that my "danger food" is alcohol and my "tempting situation"is "cocktail hour on" and that this weekend, after drinking all myfelx-Points, I dealt with my "situation" by "continuing to drink untilI vomited the evening's points back."
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Posted by hissycat at August 11, 2005 06:05 PM
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